Donna the Unicorn and the Tomb of Horrors
by Madame Seabush
Summary: Donna visits the TOMB OF HORRORS! Charlie the Unicorn inspired. AU. Absolute Crack.


**Author Notes**: I had this on my computer since last year, and it was only once it was pointed out to me that the 'lasers' and the 'Doctor falling from the sky' were predictions to the 'End of Time' that I well and truly kicked myself for not posting this sooner. Oh well, I'll still have 'Llamas with Hats' as a psychic prediction. Anyway, I'm choosing to upload it now so I don't forget and if you don't know what this is in reference to, it's the _Charlie the Unicorn Hot Topic Ad_. Search it, yeah? If you don't know what Charlie the Unicorn is. Search that first, you been living under a rock your whole life? C'mon. xD

**Acknowledgments**: Casey, for being a MACHINE, once again with her editing skills and inadvertently teaching me a thing or two about punctuation. Hurrah!

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**Donna the Unicorn and the Tomb of Horrors**.

Smoke billowed around them, the sweltering heat and humidity coming from the lava below them, hot and thick, moving quickly passed the rocks and cliffs which served as their 'safety zones'. Even then, they were beginning to crumble beneath them.

The Master looked around in haste, stranded on a singular platform, one of which was being weakened by the lava which raged beneath it. "Donna. Where are you?" the Master called out, just as the Doctor screamed past him as he seemingly fell from the sky.

Warily, Donna looked around to try and find any distinguishing features as to her location. It was hard to find anything when your primary surroundings consisted of deadly lava, rock, more rocks, cliffs and more deadly lava. "…I'm in some sort of chamber," she responded uncertainly, her brow knit with concern, not quite understanding her surroundings. They definitely weren't in Chiswick anymore.

As he tried to keep his balance "…The Chamber of Madness or the Chamber of Death?" the Master questioned her.

Well, it wasn't like either held a positive connotation, now was it? The Chamber of Madness or the Chamber of Death. Great, so she could be dead and be surrounded by dead people, or be mad and be surrounded by mad people. In a way, she figured she was already surrounded by mad people so maybe therein lay the clue. "…Does it matter?" she asked apprehensively, studying the symbol on the wall.

"DONNA. I'M ON FIRE! TELL ME!" The Master yelled suddenly, having suddenly ignited and burst into flames, the blaze raging off his skin in a torrent of vibrant orange.

Shocked and otherwise speechless, she buckled under the pressure quite quickly. "I don't know!" she snapped, before continuing angrily, "Why did you bring me here!"

The Master, now curiously _not_ on fire, continued in a considerably less urgent manner. "It's all because of the weasel, Donna!" he called out to her in warning, starting to slip from the platform, "Don't talk to the weasel!" before falling from the rocks and into the lava below him.

Stunned silence followed as she tried to determine whether or not it was time to panic. "What weasel?" she questioned sharply, frustrated and losing her patience. This was getting to be ridiculous.

A holographic weasel appeared before her, complete with cloak and the uncanny ability to perch itself on its hind legs in a humanoid fashion. Donna could only stare in confusion and annoyance as the scene presented itself.

She sighed.

"…From this day, 10,000 years ago, a force of evil so grand…" a tinny, yet somehow ominous tone began, and she couldn't help but wonder if this was a good opportunity to hit the ground running or just listen to him. He seemed akin to an intergalactic information point rather than a threat, and yet, she couldn't bring herself to be completely fearless about it.

"DONNA. GET DOWN!" a familiar voice yelled, and despite the warning, Donna refused to move, choosing instead to stare pointedly at the two Time Lords that were gallivanting their way to her rescue. Oh yeah, they were bonkers. They were _definitely_ in the Chamber of Madness. It had only been a matter of time before the two of them well and truly lost it, thick as thieves in complete and utter insanity.

Lasers shot from the Doctor's eyes and then Master's, destroying the weasel instantly as he fell with a pained yell. As they both approached, she couldn't help but scowl. Lasers? _Really? _Come on_._

But before she could ask, however, the Master was in her face, demanding her attention. "Did you speak to the weasel!" the Master raged, loud and intense, an overbearing personality over her own. A reasonable feat in any case.

He gained only a passive aggressive response from the Doctor's ginger haired companion. "No," she grit out, only to be met by another round of laser play courtesy of her the Master's eyes. She jumped.

The Master was having none of it. "_Did you speak to the weasel_!"

"I said NO!" Donna yelled at him, about ready to slap the man in the face for being so arrogant. She didn't care if he was the Doctors oldest friend, last of the Time Lords, what have you. The man needed to be taken down a peg or two.

But instead of accepting her words, a devious smile began to spread across the Master's perfect lips, his eyes becoming distant as they widened, brimming with lunacy and enthusiasm. "FOOL. I **am** the weasel," 'The weasel' announced, and Donna slowly shrank back.

The Doctor looked suddenly horrified, his lips parted in shock as he looked from the Master to Donna. "Donna, what have you done?" he breathed, his words taking on an ominous tone.

Donna looked indignant yet panic swelled in her chest. Both of them had fallen into the pit, how the hell had they gotten out? "Oh, come on, how could I possibly have known that!" she demanded, her voice just that little bit higher than usual, marked by distress.

"DONNA!" the Doctor suddenly yelled in urgency, causing Donna to flinch before the anger settled back in, narrowing her gaze and hardening her jaw.

"WHAT!" she growled, fed up with the situation.

"We're _naked_!" the Doctor beamed cheerily, staring off into the distance similarly to that of the Master. The two of them, off in their worlds and leaving her in reality to pick up the pieces.

At this, Donna raised her brow, but chose to say nothing.


End file.
